Thinking Like a Coach (to Your Children)
March 11-12, 2011. Put this weekend on your calendar in PERMANENT MARKER. It's the weekend that Johnson Ferry will host a huge regional parenting event in Atlanta by the National Center for Biblical Parenting. I love these guys. They are practical and Biblical in their approach to all things related to kids. (Duh. Maybe that's why they are called the National Canter for "BIBLICAL" Parenting.") Here's what they have to say about "coaching" your kids... I'm sure that as you look around you see other families who have rather strange relationships with their kids. Some parents seem to have a boss/servant relationship with their children, as if the parents own their kids. They order them around as if they were slaves, being demanding about obedience and respect. 
Others act like policemen allowing children to do anything they want within boundaries. When the children move outside the boundaries then the parent blows the whistle to get them back in line. Other parents have a little prince relationship with their children. These parents go out of their way to make their children happy, sometimes trying to make up for their own unhappiness as a child.
A better analogy is the one that views the parent as a coach. Your children need training every day, involving teaching, correcting, firmness, and encouragement. A coach builds a relationship with the child, recognizes weaknesses and equips the child to succeed. When a runner falls down, a good coach doesn't condemn but motivates to excellence through support and encouragement. The coach and the athlete are both on the same side, working to make that young person successful.
Don't let childish problems like anger, impulsiveness, or meanness motivate you to become an opponent to your children, allowing the problem to come between you. Instead, partner with your children, moving the problem to the side, with you and your child working together to conquer it. Your attitude in conflict will mean all the difference for a child who needs to be coached out of immaturity. Children need to know that their parents believe in them. It helps them in the deepest areas of their hearts.
This parenting tip is from the book, Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. Since each chapter begins with a fictional story that continues from chapter to chapter, it's the parenting book you can read to your kids.