Is it Time to Get the the Heart of Your Child's Behavior?

I'm sorry I haven't posted to INFO for Families in a while. We have been in the process of launching our CoupleWise marriage mentoring at Johnson Ferry and I have been absolutely swamped for the past few weeks.

I wanted to give one last promotional shout-out for the Parenting Workshop we are hosting at Johnson Ferry next Friday, September 17. If you will need chlidcare, the deadline is today.

I have said this many times, but our speakers, Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, are very wise and gifted communicators. Their strength is in coaching parents to get to the heart of behavioral issues, not just the external manifestations.

Their topic on Friday will be Dealing with Bad Attitudes and Anger in your kids. Their presentation will be helpful for parents of kids of all ages. You can still register at the Johnson Ferry registration site.

In order to whet your appetite for Turansky and Miller's perspective, here's a quick tip they have recently offered imperfect and normal parents just like us on the issue of problem solving and decision making... 

How do your children handle problems and decisions? Some children whine, complain, and have bad attitudes. However, problems and decisions make great opportunities to teach children how to face life's challenges.

Families make decisions and solve problems on a daily basis. Parents must make some decisions, and in those cases children need to learn to follow. At other times parents can involve children and teach them to make wise choices.

Developing good decision-making skills gives children the ability to define a problem, imagine consequences of various alternatives, and then choose the best solution among the options. Allowing children to solve some problems for themselves communicates honor to them. It says, "I believe in you. You have what it takes."

Sometimes parents solve problems for children to help them avoid frustration. Be careful that you don't rob your children of learning experiences. Frustration can be a great teacher and can motivate children into new areas. You then can be the counselor or coach as life teaches a valuable lesson.

Don't be too quick to solve a problem or make a decision for your kids. Involve children in the process, not just in the final product. Much of the day-to-day problem-solving and decision-making in family life can demonstrate cooperation and teamwork as parents and children work together. Cooperative decision-making teaches children valuable skills of negotiation, compromise, communication, and creating alternatives. Mutual honor is demonstrated in the midst of cooperation.

For more ways to teach honor in life, look at Chapter 6 in the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

If this tip was sent to you by a friend and you'd like to continue to receive tips yourself, you can sign up at www.biblicalparenting.org.