In Celebration of Average Husbands
It's Valentine's Day and (hopefully) all the guys out there are doing something thoughtful to express their love to their gals. Bring your A-game, fellas. For most women, today is a big deal.
But ladies, I want to encourage you to be gracious to your guys. For most of us, being romantic doesn't come easy. And unfortunately, you've watched enough movies and seen enough romantic dudes on TV that your standards have risen to some unrealistic heights. That's why I hate Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. That one role has single-handedly turned every other man into a bum when it comes to romance.
So I'd like to take a moment to celebrate all the average husbands out there. I want to remind all the ladies to appreciate and value the man that they have in all his imperfect (and occasionally disappointing) glory.
Things to Value in Your Average Husband
1. He is a bit vanilla.
So you don't have a guy with six-pack abs or chiseled features. He's not worth billions like the dude from Fifty Shades of Grey. He may have put on a few pounds and he might smell funny sometimes. But the good news is that other women probably won't be chasing him. ;-) Plus, vanilla is actually pretty delicious when you think about it.
2. He is probably free of drama.
While you may occasionally want more emotionally from your guy (please share your feelings with me!), his stability can be very valuable at times. When you experiencing a roller-coaster of emotions because of your chaotic life, having a strong and stable husband is a gift from God.
3. He is a solid helpmate.
Sure, he might not notice clutter and messes like you do, but if you ask him to help out around the house, he usually steps up. And as the Mr. Clean Super Bowl commercial showed us, that can be very sexy indeed.
4. He is typically faithful.
I would have loved to write "always faithful" here, but no guy is absolutely perfect. But if your man has remained committed to you and your marriage through the years, then that's something to celebrate. While most guys have a hard time being perfect husbands, most of us average guys can at least be "all in" with our commitment.
5. He is crazy in love with you.
The final section in Shaunti Feldhahn's "For Women Only" articulates to women what most men have been (poorly) trying to express for decades: "We are desperately in love with our wives." Granted, he is probably terrible at communicating this, but deep inside of his heart, your average husband loves you more than you will ever know. I promise this is true. Just ask him.
These thoughts on average husbands are not meant to make excuses for guys who neglect their wives. Not at all. You have to keep loving and romancing and expressing your love to our wife in clear, tangible ways. You did that when you dated her and that's probably what made her fall in love with you. So keep it up. She expects it to continue.
But ladies, all of us "imperfect & normal" husbands out there would appreciate it if you would meet us in the middle. We think we're bringing our A game. It sometimes might feel like a C to you. In reality, it's probably more like a solid B. That's average. And average isn't so bad.